Hope

Stimulus is Stuck

Submitted by mous on 2/8/09 9:38am

Sunday, February 8th
3:00pm

Dear Diary,

I am so fed up with these Republicans, I can hardly stand it. I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to compromise. But they won’t stop until they’ve completely torn this stimulus bill apart. And for what, more tax cuts? 42% of the bill is already tax cuts! How much more do they want? Economists all agree that we need to spend money in order even begin to fix this economy, and yet, Republicans still won’t have any of it! And John McCain of all people has been speaking out against it, contradicting himself, of course. First he doesn’t think tax cuts are going to do anything, then he’s asking for more tax cuts. Honestly, I think the man is senile. Thank god I beat him so resoundingly. And why is he being such a thorn in my side anyway? Didn’t he say as part of his concession speech that’s going to get behind me and support because that’s what the country wants? Read more

Apologies Appreciated

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Submitted by mous on 2/5/09 6:10am

Thursday, February 5th
9:10am

Dear Diary,

I must admit, I was surprised to watch the news late last night and find out that the press really enjoyed all my apologies. I’m glad they got my message. After all, I know how much Bush was criticized for never admitting to a mistake. Heck, I criticized him for that too. So I’m going out of my way to admit mistakes when I need to, even if they’re not entirely my fault, as was the case with Tom Daschle. Of course, I can’t make too many mistakes, since people won’t appreciate my apologies quite as much… Still, people recognize this already recognize this as a major difference between my presidency and Bush’s presidency, and I’m glad to know they’re picking up on my cues of distinction.

But while I have the media in the palm of my hand, the Republicans are an entirely different story. I just cannot seem to win them over when it comes to the stimulus. And I’m running out of time too, since the Senate is voting at the end of the week – most likely tomorrow. Read more

Tom Daschle and Other Dilemmas

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Submitted by mous on 2/4/09 8:07pm

Wednesday, February 4th
11:45pm

Dear Diary,

Whew, it has been quite a week. With two people declining to take on position in my cabinet, I’ll admit I’m getting a bit frustrated. After all, I’m PRESIDENT Barack Obama. People should be thrilled to work for me. As for Tom Daschle, which was the biggest heartbreak of all, I guess I should have looked into his profile more extensively, since he did work as a lobbyist for insurance companies and he had those tax problems. But really, can’t my aides do anything? It’s their job to do the vetting! I have much more important things to worry about. Still, he would have been perfect for the job. We really need somebody in there who can talk to both Republicans and Democrats, and he would have been the best one to sell my health plan. It’s going to be hard to find somebody as qualified as he is. The last time a healthcare bill went through Congress with support from both parties was in 1965 with the Medicare bill. Read more

Interview on Al Arabiya

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Submitted by mous on 1/27/09 8:55pm

Tuesday, January 27th
9:25pm

Dear Diary,

Today I reached out to the Arab world through an interview on Al Arabiya, in trying to carry out the plans made in my Inauguration speech to reach out with an extended hand. I really wanted to show that portion of the world that American cares about Muslims and Muslim lives. Since George Bush did absolutely nothing to reach out to this area of the world, I’m demonstrating my willingness to engage in diplomacy within the first week after my inauguration. I just to emphasize my willingness to talk, and more importantly, listen, since I’m sure that hasn’t been happening at all over the past eight years.

I've since learned that this interview was very well received through the Arab world, and especially in Pakistan, which is important if we want to achieve diplomacy from their country, and support from their people.

In other news, the House will vote on my stimulus package tomorrow. Read more

Saving Our Country, Multiple Issues at a Time

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Submitted by mous on 1/26/09 6:43pm

Monday, January 26th
9:05pm

Dear Diary,

Whew, what a day. I have been putting out Bush fires (haha, good one, Barack) all over the place. It seems that I’m going to have to completely undo the last eight years of damage caused by the Bush Administration, or at least as much as possible. Read more

Inauguration Day!

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Submitted by mous on 1/20/09 3:30am

Tuesday, January 20th
6:30am

Dear Diary,

Well, since I’ve been awake since 4am this morning, I suppose it’s time to finally get a move on for my big day. It’s been quite an amazing journey to this point. I do wish that my grandmother were still alive to see this day. I know how proud she would have been, even to have witnessed my election back in November. But I know she’s looking down on me from up above. Well, I’m getting pretty sentimental, but today is a celebration…for me!

I’ll make a statement sometime today or tonight about my first order of business (probably something simple, possibly to do with Guantanamo), but save most of the tough conundrums for tomorrow. After all, with ten balls to attend, a parade that will last for a quite a while, and more speeches than I’d care to count right now, I’ll need a small break from business.

Ugh, there’s so much more to fix than when I initially started campaigning. About a week after the election, all I could think was, “Put me in the White House already!” After all, Bush was just a figure on the sidelines on that point, completely inept to do anything. Read more